Posted on

Honoring My Broken Heart

2013-04-24 13.27.03 FB 2-21-16 Scooby --My Broken HeartOne week ago a piece of my heart broke. And I’m ok with that. The broken piece is still there, still part of the bigger heart. But the truth is, the part that broke, I really don’t want that part to heal.

I want to continue feeling that broken heart and I want it to help me remember the love and the joy and the sorrow and the pain. Because for me, each one of those are absolutely worthy of remembering.

We live in this fast and furious and too often disposable world. Go here.Now go there. Fast. Faster. Don’t like it? Give it back. Scooby said no to all of that. Stop. Smell. Repeat.

That was Scooby.

To be with him comforted my soul. Every leaf, every flower, every scent he sniffed was rewarded with the Beauty of Scooby. He moved at his pace. No rush. Why?

Because moving with time was more fun than racing time.

Oh yes, he ran when he wanted to. When there were treats he was lightning fast. Even with those stout Beagle Bassett legs, he could outrun me. But his daily life was done without haste. He enjoyed. He appreciated. He paused. He respected.

He did that with every single thing. Because he knew that was the way to do it. As Buddha taught him.

Scooby taught me that it’s ok to keep the cards we’re dealt. That it’s ok to not give up at the first sign of trouble. Because if we give the cards back we may find out we were holding the Wildcard.

And Scooby was the Wildcard.

We danced thousands of dances, and then we danced some more. We knew each other’s steps as if they were our own. To see us walk together might not have always made sense. But we did it beautifully. It was our dance.

My first dog was with me for 19 years. Another, about 12. And Pongo was almost 19 when he passed away.

Scooby, although he was 21 ½ human years, graced me for only 4 ½ of those years. But somehow, in that time, he etched himself so deeply into my soul. I often tried to become him, to be The Scoobs. Always My Hero.

There was just something about Scooby. Loving him was just such a great feeling. And that smooshable face. To kiss that nose. To look into those eyes. Oh man, I still see him now.

To sit with him, even for a moment, that was my Paradise. And I’ll miss that.

My one week mourning period is now over. Despite being at a very few activities this past week, I’ve really focused only on remembering. It’s still a foggy place, but this week of reflection has been so very meaningful to me and my soul.

Thank you for your continued show of love and support for me and The Scoobs. Please know that I still plan to reply to each one of you who has commented or reached out to me. There are thousands of messages to return and it will take some time, but please know you are not forgotten.

And most of all, I thank you for loving him too.

With love, Larry

Scooby Chusid: August 31, 1994 – February 14, 2016

Sit. Stay. Eat. Live.