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When Bad Things Happen to Good Squirrels

2014-10-05 18.11.13-1It was a perfect afternoon. Until Scooby caught a squirrel. Yes, 20-year-old Scooby forgot every single conversation we’ve ever had about the squirrels being our friends. And he caught one. Yes, Scooby.

The dog with the mind of a Ferrari and the body of a ’67 Pontiac Bonneville.

Yes. Scooby caught a squirrel.

It was not an old squirrel and it was not a slow squirrel. It was simply a squirrel that had no idea how lightning fast Scooby could be when he wants to be fast. And neither did I. Because the Scoobster took off like a rocket. And just a moment after Scooby caught that squirrel I caught Scooby. I tackled him actually. Seriously.

It was our own version of Turducken. Squirrel. Scooby. Larry.

Thankfully Scooby quickly released that squirrel. OK, so maybe I helped him by prying his paws open and pulling him off the squirrel. And the squirrel? He ran off to regroup. But he was hiding only a few feet away and his tail was sticking out from his hiding spot. Meaning that Scooby and I both knew where he was. And that might have been his plan. He might have just been that kind of deathwish squirrel.

Scooby refused to budge. His laser focus was locked on that squirrel. So there we were, flat on the ground and wrestling each other for control. Scooby did not have a collar on so there was nothing for me to grab. And he wouldn’t move.

All the while that squirrel shook his tail at us. Scooby’s goal was to get the squirrel. My goal was to get Scooby. I finally was able to get my hands under him and scoop him up and carry him inside.

Back out I went to make sure Rocky the Squirrel was ok. And thankfully he was. But he was not only ok, he was cocky. He was belligerent. He was downright arrogant. And with that cockiness he decided to take a victory lap around the front yard.

A slow, deliberate victory lap. Stopping every few feet to dance. I think I even heard him clapping his little hands together and singing We Are the Champions.

And the entire time there was Scooby in the house, going nuts as he looked out the front window. Watching me trying to urge Rocky to scurry along. But with little success. Because Rocky was on his own schedule. And his schedule, apparently, was to annoy Scooby.

So I went back inside to console Scooby and what happened next was crazy. That little squirrel came right up to the front window and stood on his hind legs and stared right at Scooby. He trash-talked him. And the photo is how Scooby responded. There were plenty of heated words. Trust me. Plenty.

A few moments later he was back in his tree. Yes, his tree. I think he decided that he owned everything after beating death. And why shouldn’t he celebrate?

It was a moment when Bad Things Happen to Good Squirrels. But thankfully we all survived.

We look forward to seeing you again, Rocky. But next time please be faster.

Sit. Stay. Eat. Live. Be kind to squirrels. thepongofund.org